


"I Want To Love You"

by heythereshipfreak



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:27:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21547582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heythereshipfreak/pseuds/heythereshipfreak
Summary: "I have loved you ever since we were 18. And i want to continue to love you 80 years more down the road. I want to make more memories with you, i want to love you like i never loved anybody before, i want to show you what you have been missing in life. I want to be with you forever." Sam said as he kissed Bucky's head."You might have your flaws. Baby you always have that funny face when you try to think for a solution. You snore in your sleep, you're actually bad at math. You can't cook for god sake, and you're always late for our dates. You suck at game nights." Sam said and Bucky turns to him.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson
Comments: 5
Kudos: 11





	"I Want To Love You"

Bucky sat there on his bed, tears running down his cheeks, he had his switch blade in one of his hands, he was cutting himself again, he was cursing himself with every slash, he was loathing himself.

He could hear the commotion outside, he could hear Sam and Steve were calling for him, he tried his best to stop but his hand continues to cut himself, he only stopped when his room door was kicked open, there stood Steve, his bestfriend,with a worried look, behind him was Sam, his boyfriend looking all sweaty. Sam ran up to his side.

"Baby, stop." Sam said as he pulls the knife away.

"What the hell are you doing?" Steve angrily said as he stood next to them.

"Steve, i think it's best i talk to my boyfriend." Sam said as he looks up at Steve, trying to push him away.

"But I'm his bestfriend, for fuck sake." Steve growls.

"And I'm his boyfriend. How about you get me some thing to clean his wounds." Sam said. Steve huffs and walks to the bathroom.

"Baby, look at me." Sam said as he cups Bucky's face.

"I'm sorry." Bucky whispers.

"Hey what are you sorry for?" Sam said as wipes Bucky's face.

"For everything, for not being your perfect boyfriend, or Steve's bestfriend. I can't be the perfect quarterback, or the perfect student body. I can't be the perfect son to my parents, or even a perfect brother to Natasha. I can't even be the perfect lab partner for Tony and Bruce. I'm always screwing everything up. I really hate myself." Bucky said as he looks at Sam.

"Baby, look at me. You're perfect to me. You have the most beautiful face I've ever seen, i would love to kiss those soft lips everyday." Sam said as he held Bucky's hand.

"I would love to hold these hands for the rest of my life. I would love to watch you play on the field. I would love to see all your science project." Sam comforts him as he kissed the back of Bucky's hands.

"You might not be the perfect human being to everyone, you might not be a good son to your parent, or a good brother to Tasha, you might not be the perfect bestfriend to Steve. But you will always be my perfect boyfriend. I can't deny that at all." Sam said as he looks into Bucky's blue eyes.

"But Sam." Bucky said, only for Sam to put a finger on his lips.

"Hush now my love." Sam said as he sat next to him, pulling Bucky into his embrace, letting him lay on his chest as he lays in between Sam's thighs.

"Sam here's the kit." Steve said as he hands him the first aid kit 

"Thanks Steve." Sam said as he took it. Steve smiles and sat on the floor.

"Bucks, why are you doing this to yourself." Steve sighs as he looks at him.

"Because i feel that life is better without me. Everyone will be much happier." Bucky sobs.

"I call bull on that story." Tony said as he walks into Bucky's room. Tony was Bucky's roommate in collage.

"Bucky, you have been the best big brother i ever had." Natasha said as she walks in and sat on his bed.

"Can't lie about that. You have always been a good friend to me." Clint said as he walks in and sat at the study table.

"Wouldn't it be better if you guys leave me and my boyfriend some time alone. I need to talk to him now." Sam said as he prepares the gauze, and placed it on Bucky's arm.

"Slowly." Bucky winced.

"We will be outside." Rhodey said as he was resting his back against the door frame.

Everyone got up and left the couple on the room, Steve smiles at them as he closes the bedroom door. Bucky winced as Sam cleans his wounds.

"I'm thankful it's not that deep." Sam sighs as he threw another bloody gauze into the bin.

"I'm sorry." Bucky whispers.

"What are you sorry for?" Sam asked him.

"For all this." Bucky said as he points to his arm.

"Baby, you have every right to feel sad, to go through all of this." Sam said as he applied some ointment on the wounds.

"But baby, look at me. I'm your boyfriend. Out there is all your friends. We're here for you, you can talk to us, talk to me." Sam said as he applied clean gauze on the cuts.

"Remember this baby, your feelings are valid, your actions are valid, your emotions are valid. I'm always here for you, if you need a hug or a shoulder to cry on." Sam said as he wraps up the arm with bandage.

"This is college baby, lessons will get tougher, and you will have more responsibility, you have to plan out for the next game, you have student body meetings to be at, you have a robotic club to run and you have friends to please." Sam said as he tightens the bandage.

"But baby, take some time for your mental health, talk to anyone about it. Stop keeping it to yourself. Everyone is here for you, that's what friends are for." Sam said as he looks at Bucky.

"If you need to cry, then cry. If you want to laugh, then laugh. If you want to talk to someone, then go ahead. But you can't push mountains for someone, you can't cross a river for them when they won't cross a puddle for you. Baby, stop pushing yourself to your limit. We're just 20, there's still so many things to look forward to." Sam said.

"I can't imagine losing you. How could you do this to yourself? How could you let us worry about this? Have you ever thought how Steve would feel, you both been friends for ages. What would Natasha feel, knowing the person she looks up to, is going through so much shit and she couldn't even help you. Think about Tony, Clint, Bruce. Damn even think about young Peter, he looks up at you." Sam said as he threads his fingers in Bucky's hair.

"I have loved you ever since we were 18. And i want to continue to love you 80 years more down the road. I want to make more memories with you, i want to love you like i never loved anybody before, i want to show you what you have been missing in life. I want to be with you forever." Sam said as he kissed Bucky's head.

"You might have your flaws. Baby you always have that funny face when you try to think for a solution. You snore in your sleep, you're actually bad at math. You can't cook for god sake, and you're always late for our dates. You suck at game nights." Sam said and Bucky turns to him.

"But all those stupid flaws made you for who you are. Those flaws made me love you even more, i love those looks you make as you're doing your homework, or planning a new game plan. I love it when you snore when we fall asleep in your bed. Even if you made bad food but you tried your best and i don't mind eating them. Even if you're always late for our dates, I'm glad you always tries your best to make it up to me. And game nights, i love your pouting face." Sam said as he caress Bucky's face, pushing his messy hair off his face.

"I don't care what you think you are, but I'll still love you unconditionally, because you're perfect to me." Sam said as he cups Bucky's face and pressed their lips together.

"I love you, Sam." Bucky whispers as they pulled apart.

"And I'll forever love you." Sam kissed Bucky's forehead.


End file.
